I am no longer the biggest Michigan fan in the world.

I grew up in the Buckeye state as a miserable fan of the team up north. From 2004 to 2021, I endured a life full of autumnal suffering, and brutal mediocrity. I survived the Rich Rodriguez days (shoutout the 4-2 ATS Jacksonville State), I got through Brady Hoke, I even endured the pain that came with Tate Forcier and Shae Patterson (USFL 1^st overall pick). Needless to say, I have powered through the saddest of days that came with being a Michigan Wolverines fan.

As the biggest Michigan fan in the world, I was thrilled when 2021 came along. Even though our season had some hiccups, which was the effect of Kenneth Walker’s 5 TD's against us, we were resilient and finally took down Ohio State. We won the Big Ten. We won a playoff spot. As a life-long Michigan fan, I was on top of the world.

In 2022, we capitalized on our recruiting and development even more. We destroy AN Ohio State University at their place, we make the playoffs, and BOOM! We lose on my wife and I’s wedding day to an awful TCU team. A loss that no one could have predicted. Had it not been my wedding day, I would have been the saddest little boy in the entire world.

I hate Ohio State. To the core. Now if you know me you would say, “Dylan, didn’t you get a Master’s degree from OSU that ultimately doubled your salary, allowed you to work for a sports betting website, and all around bettered your life?" To that, I would say yes. You are correct. I loved my time at Ohio State as a student (Shoutout Dr. John Draper). However, the Blue fever never left my body. Nothing makes me happier than the University of Michigan’s success. I was the #1 Wolverines fan, in the trenches every day amongst these nuts in Ohio.

That’s no longer the case.

I can’t say I am the #1 Michigan fan in the world anymore. It isn’t true. I proudly hand that honor down to retired Marine, Connor Stallions. This gentleman is a die-hard Michigan fan who had a dream. A dream to resurrect Michigan football after the atrocious 2020 season. A dream that became a reality.

There is footage circulating of Stallions going crazy on the sidelines in Bloomington when his Wolverines took on the Indiana Hoosiers, proving that this guy cares, and wants to be close to the action. His passion grew, and he soon found himself on staff as an analyst, scouting the best teams in the nation, and giving his team the biggest edge possible.

Connor boasts an impressive skill set. On LinkedIn, he claimed to possess traits such as: “scouting, intelligence gathering, and marine style intel”. When Stallions took this job on, it wasn’t hobby. It was a lifestyle. He was looking to instill marine-esque philosophies to the gridiron. Humans love patterns, and Stallions could find patterns in just about anything.

Stallions wasn’t just a Michigan fan, he was a fan of the game. He purchased over 30 tickets to various football games, as he wanted to be in the house for all the football he could watch. The mainstream media will tell you that this was to scout future Michigan opponents, but here at KarterKast we know that this man knew ball, and loved ball. No more, no less.

As of last week, Stallions was put on paid leave from his position amidst "sign stealing" allegations. I can only imagine that this sent the #1 Michigan fan into a spiral full of despair and hopelessness. The rumor is that he had tickets for Penn State @ Ohio State, a great game that Stallions did not get to attend, due to these speculations of “sign stealing” AKA “doing his job”.

To help further hit home this superfan narrative, Stallions and 2 other staffers allegedly have a document worked up, called the “Michigan Manifesto”. A 500-600 page document highlighting the intricate and detailed steps Stallions and co. would take to get Michigan back to where the program needs to be. If I had to guess, we are about 300 pages into that manifesto at this current moment. Recent discoveries may have set us back.

It is extremely clear that this alleged, "sign stealing scandal" was just a fan that wanted to help his team be the best they can be. He did this without institutional support, without Harbaugh's ok, without permission from anyone. And boy do I respect him for it. It is also worth noting, he is very good at ALLEGEDLY "stealing signs". I mean, really good.

However, Stallions will be back. When Harbaugh inevitably gets fed up with this outrageous Wolverine witch hunt and heads to the NFL, I want the #1 Michigan Wolverines fan as head coach. No, I am not talking about myself. I am talking about the one, the only, Connor Stallions.

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